Random thought

I  understand now that I react badly with Rakesh because I have always clear expectation, or outcome of all my interactions with him. If I say or do something, then I expect that he need to reply me back according to my logic. I accept his different reaction few times.  I required to deal with it very consciously. When I lose my patience and he doesn't react the way I expect, then I get angry or anxious. Rather, I overlook the good thing sometimes he does at that moment. I never realize it because I am not in the present with him. I am either reacting based on his past behavior. I will say something and before he gives reaction I am upset because he hasn't reacted according to my expectation in the past. In other case, it happens that I do something for him and I already predict or expect certain behavior or reaction from him, I am in the future mode when I am doing it.

This may be the universal issue in a relationship. Mostly all types of relationships.  We are what we think. It is the very reason behind conflicts in relationships. We make judgements based on what we are and we don't think what another person may have thought.  All the results and conclusions are based on our experience. We expect everything in return exactly what we are from others.  This is the major reason for disagreements. When we don't get expected outcome or response. We try to make a negative view about concern person. Over the period of time, our perception becomes stronger and we form an opinion about a person.  In certain scenarios, the outcome may have been standardized based on culture or history.  However, when we are dealing with people we cannot force our outcome as a response.

Golden rule for any relationship, you have to stop judging people. Be in the present when you are dealing with people. Don't play past and future games, especially the case of spousal relationships. I make a strong opinion about a person when I interact with them. Why we need to generalize any interaction or experience.