Three key stories of my life - Part III -the END

This is the third and the last key story of my life. If I tell you that during the five years of my time in IIT Bombay, I lost only six keys. Yes, I lost almost six keys of the hostel room lock. Friends teased me for my carelessness and absent mindness only related to the key and  mobile too. Yes, I mentioned only related to key and mobile because I have a wonderful memory. I am using it for only important work. I can still remember all the data, file names and location of files from my first PhD. I call that I have a long lasting relationship problem with the key. So we are  unable get along. The key doesn't like me. 

This story began during my second year of a PhD. I was working in the lab late at night. My standard time to reach hostel was 2:00am. I am a jhola person.  Jhola means a big cloth bag without any pockets. I use to dump everything inside. One day I reached the hostel at 2am. I tried to take the keys out from my jhola. I could not find it. I emptied it on the floor. It confirmed me that I lost it. I started thinking when I had my keys last time. I had two choices. I could knock my friend's door and sleep at her place for the night. Or I can go back to the  lab and check if I forgot my key there. I selected the second option with a confidence that I might keep keys in the lab. I was wrong that time. I could not find the key. I came back and finally used my first choice. In the morning, I went to the hostel mess, I borrowed hammer to break the lock. With this I end the first key lost part of this story. 

Then I became wiser and I bought a lock with three keys. I kept one with me, one in the lab and one I gave it to my friend. I reached in the third year of my PhD. Anyone who has done Phd will agree that its most stressful year. So there is a possibility  to lose a key. I somehow lost the key again. I went to room in the evening. I  did not have a key. I had two choices again. I could call my friend to bring my key. I could go back to the lab and get the spare key. My friend was out of town so it was not an option. I did use the third choice. I broke the lock again. I borrowed the hammer again from the mess and broke the lock. Why I did this? I was very frustrated that day. Everything was going wrong. I was so tired and when I could not find a key. I just went down and broke it. This is the way I not only one key, but three keys. This is the second half of the three key lost story. 

Finally, let's hear the great third key story. I bought a lock with two keys. Again, I kept one key in the lab and one with me. In the meantime, I lost a key. I used the first choice. I went back to the lab and got the spare key. I used it for few months. I was happy that I am not losing key anymore. One fine day, I was travelling to London for a conference. It was my first trip abroad. My parents and my boyfriend were there at the hostel to drop me to the airport. We packed everything. We went down had dinner and came back to the room. I was carrying the key in my hand. After dinner, we went upstairs to grab the luggage. When I reached and tried to find a key to open the room. To my surprise, I did not have the keys in my hand. I listened to all the lectures from them to be careful about my passport during my visit. If I lost anything during the trip I would be in trouble. I had no choice this time. I went straight down. When I entered the mess, the mess worker smiled and gave me the hammer. I broke the lock. This time my door knob also broke because it could not take any more blows. I happily went on my trip. This is the end of the key story. 

Today, I look back and I thought that indeed those are wonderful three key stories of my life. 

Life advice from a wise

This is a summary of an amazing interaction 

1) Count your blessings when you are in the middle of a problem.

2) Accept the disorder  and then it becomes easy to manage difficulties or problems.

3) Focus on the solution and you will not be worried or panicked

4) Entropy of a system - everything is disordered - and things get ordered to a higher state       

     within  the disorder

5) Difficulties or challenges are the opportunities to grow wiser

6) Do the small tasks when you come to work. And focus is a habit.

Prayer!!!

I am the part of this universe created by the infinite intelligence. I am spreading happiness, peace, satisfaction and joy in this world.  I have happiness, peace, satisfaction and joy in my life.   I am giving  everyone, my love, care and affection. Infinite Intelligence, give me strength to fulfill my life purpose. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to fulfill my life purpose. 

Random thought

I  understand now that I react badly with Rakesh because I have always clear expectation, or outcome of all my interactions with him. If I say or do something, then I expect that he need to reply me back according to my logic. I accept his different reaction few times.  I required to deal with it very consciously. When I lose my patience and he doesn't react the way I expect, then I get angry or anxious. Rather, I overlook the good thing sometimes he does at that moment. I never realize it because I am not in the present with him. I am either reacting based on his past behavior. I will say something and before he gives reaction I am upset because he hasn't reacted according to my expectation in the past. In other case, it happens that I do something for him and I already predict or expect certain behavior or reaction from him, I am in the future mode when I am doing it.

This may be the universal issue in a relationship. Mostly all types of relationships.  We are what we think. It is the very reason behind conflicts in relationships. We make judgements based on what we are and we don't think what another person may have thought.  All the results and conclusions are based on our experience. We expect everything in return exactly what we are from others.  This is the major reason for disagreements. When we don't get expected outcome or response. We try to make a negative view about concern person. Over the period of time, our perception becomes stronger and we form an opinion about a person.  In certain scenarios, the outcome may have been standardized based on culture or history.  However, when we are dealing with people we cannot force our outcome as a response.

Golden rule for any relationship, you have to stop judging people. Be in the present when you are dealing with people. Don't play past and future games, especially the case of spousal relationships. I make a strong opinion about a person when I interact with them. Why we need to generalize any interaction or experience.